Sunday, April 08, 2007

Fever Dreams Rule (pumps air with sweaty fist)

I just remembered some of the quite long-winded fever dreams I had last night. Of course I'm going to tell you all about them. Stop whining or I'll post more Dalek porn, then you'll really have something to whine about.

Damn, I love wasting me some bandwidth.

One involved being at my parents house during the weekend the last Harry Potter book comes out so rather than doing what I usually do--pre ordering the thing months in advance and making Fed Ex deliver it to my job on the Saturday after the big party, I went straight to the bookstore for it. There were stacks of books everywhere so you could barely get to the counter. They had white covers with a cartoon elf (I think from that elf cartoon they sometimes watch on The Simpsons) and they were about the size of a VW Beetle. When I got to the counter the guy wouldn't wait on me because he needed change for his register and I kept protesting that I was going to use my debit card and it didn't matter if he had change but he thrust this ten dollar bill at me and told me to find him some change.

Demanded it, actually.

I wound up at the store's office where these two giggly ladies with 1980s blond perms gave me change for every dollar bill rather than rolls of quarters & such. Three quarters, two dimes & a nickle, then two quarters, some dimes, nickels and pennies, and so on. That went on for quite a while before I wound up back in the kitchen while my mother was making a pie. I think my brother had a shoebox of rubber snakes.

I never did get my fucking Harry Potter book.

The second dream involved being in a superhero comic book, which is odd because I never read superhero comic books. I preferred stuff like Sgt. Fury & His Howling Commandos, Weird War, Plop, and old Mad magazines. I could care less what some dink in tights and a cape was doing.

If he was in a cape and tights whatever he was doing couldn't be at all good or wholesome.

Anyhoo, there was a really freezing cold ice guy with an ice cube head and a flaming hot fire guy with a flame head and they were supposed to battle this evil scientist or something. I never found out why he was so evil but he did have a lab coat and a goatee and that seems to be the uniform of the evil scientist so I guess it was inevitable.

In a sub-plot I went to a Japanese school for girls where I had to progress through these strange levels for absolutely no reason. One level was learning this dorky, simple-assed song which I had some real problems with, then the next one somehow involved a coloring book and a really tall ladder. I failed the second one miserably so I went back to see how the superhero battle was going.

Apparently there was this long-standing feud between the cold guy and the hot guy so they fought each other instead and they were both dead. I turned up just in time to see these little kids who were both reading the comic and wandering around in it. They were crying and everyone was pretty upset.

I kinda didn't care so I made some Kool-Aid and went home. God I hate Kool-Aid.

5 comments:

BlackCrow said...

Pip and Flip....relatives of yours?

Scarlett said...

I have always had weird ass dreams when I am sick and always with my monthly cycle.

I dreamed last month, I was a Oscar Meyer hot dog weiner running down the street inside a bun away from a hungry mob.

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