Sev's Letters to Santy

Let's try this one more time, fat man!

Dear Santy,
I would like a young man of legal age, preferrably fit and disease-free but undressed and really glad to see me, placed under my tree forthwith. Smeared with Nutella if ya got any.
Don't forget this time or there'll be hell to pay.
XXX
Severina

Dear Severina,
You'll shoot your eye out!
Wouldn't you like a nice dolly instead?
Santa Claus

Dear Fat Bastard,
Of course I'll shoot my eye out. All ya gotta do is get a tissue and get back to it.
So deposit the goods or no more cookies and milk for you.
Sev
P.S. You can quit watching me when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake. That's just fucking creepy.