Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Talk About Obsessive

I had written a much more impressive and amusing post, but my computer ate it, so you have to make do with this sad little bit of proof that I'm long past needing some sort of medication.

This is mostly the fault of Stephieface and her that guy blog entry. I've got a that guy too, but mine is the focus of a frighteningly obsessive collection of Dead Radio Actor Crap. Not only do I collect autographs of people like Rozz Williams and the Ramones, I have a whole collection of Hans Conried autographs. Yes, I collect the autographs of one person. Troubling, no?

If you're an old time radio fanatic and you hear the name Hans Conried you'll pump the air with your fist and say some kind of strange old time radio catch phrase like "Looooove dat man!" or "Yeeeeeesssss?" If you're a normal person you'll say "Who?" and back away slowly from the scary radio people.

Besides an assload of radio roles he was on The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, The Twonky, Disney's original Peter Pan and a couple hundred other things. Not ringing a bell? Oh goddammit, he was the voice of Snidely Whiplash on the Dudley Do-Right Show. Gawd, people, watch some damn TV sometime. The guy was on everything.

If you want to leave quietly, before I do or say something extremely odd, then please do so. You're also free to peruse the rest of my blog for entries on decapitating clowns and autoerotic asphixiation, since that's probably why you're here to begin with.

Now then. This rather shameful collection contains such gems as old TV Guides, publicity photos from movies, TV & theater, lobby cards, record albums, and 1940's radio magazines. The autographs are on three photos, one 1954 television contract, and an album. The first pic shows two autographed photos in one frame--an unpublished early 1950's photo and a later theater publicity pic. The second thing is a TV Guide article from May, 1956, posted for no real reason. Click it and read! I was trying to post the photo from the movie Summer Stock with Gene Kelly and the amusing publicity photos from my favorite Hans Conried film Blondie's Blessed Event but noooooo, Blogger has to be all picky.

I'm not even going to mention that I seriously considered bidding on the 500lb. Asian statue that once belonged to him that was put up on eBay by his daughter. I would have had to get a truck and drive out to Burbank to get it, haul it back here to the East coast, then convince my parents that yes, they really needed this thing in their yard until I could get a real house. It seemed reasonable at the time.

Lobby cards, photos, or posters from The Twonky are on my perpetual Wish List, as in I wish I had several thousand dollars to blow on them because I keep getting outbid every time even one comes up on eBay. Same goes for anything having to do with The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. You winning bidders all suck!!!

I could go and clutter up my life with normal stuff but who do you think I am, Drear Pooson?

*wanders away muttering more old time radio crap*


Mouse said...

I thought my husband was going to have a seizure when he saw the autograph you have on the bible page from Rozz... and that you keep it inside a vinyl copy of a Christian Death album. My hubby's a bit batty when it comes to his obsession with Rozz and all of his projects..

Severina said...

Yup, the first and best Christian Death album. If I'm going to play one it's usually that album.

Shame Eva O turned out to be such a froot loop though. I hear she thinks she's posessed by demons and is trying to do Christian music now. Sad.

Obsidian Kitten said...

and see, i rly did think i was 1 of the only ppl who ever saw the 5000 Fingers...

okay, so is his "Yesssss?" the voice in "Mr. Sandman"? b/c i love that song and that's my fave part. (in fact yesterday i kept pestering my spouse going around the house doing the "Yesssss?" bit at odd moments driving him and the 4-leggers crazy (yesssss, i can be extremely irritating). that song and "twilight time"....mmmm, dreamy...

Stephieface said...

I think more people should explore their "that guys" it might surprise you what it reveals.

There should totally be a "that guy" meme! How scary would it be to be tagged for that?

Jane said...

You are so fucking awesome! I'm in no way the Hans fan that you are, but I loved his tv appearances & voice-overs, and his cameos in The Falcon movies series (in my youth I was obsessed with mystery movie series from the 30's and 40's). Character actors could make or break a 70 minute programmer like those films.

5000 fingers...that's a masterpiece, not an obsession. It should be in the Louvre.

Severina said...

So now I can pull my shrine to Hans out of the closet then?

"Yeeeessss?" was from a bunch of Frank Nelson's characters on the Jack Benny Show. He used to turn up on TV in the 50's & 60's after radio tanked and he'd usually pop up from behind counters saying that.

You mean 5,000 Fingers isn't in the Louvre??? Shameful!

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