Sunday, January 15, 2006

Vintage Gallery of Horrors #1

I don't just collect horrendous vintage needlework patterns and inflict them on the world, I also have a pile of badly made handmade items of dubious parentage found at local fleamarkets & thrift stores. Don't ask me why they don't just wind up in the round file, just be glad they're not in your house. Brace yourself.

Remember, I won't be so nice next time.

We'll start out with what I like to think is Mr. Bill enjoying a quiet moment (in drag no less) away from the prying eyes of Sluggo and Mr. Hands. If you're not old enough to remember Mr. Bill, then you can just get bent. No point in rubbing it in that I'm old.


















Of course I have two. It wouldn't be a matching set if I didn't have two. Shamefully they are residing on my bed right now. By now it's pretty obvious that I sleep alone.


















Our next item is a bit ambiguous. I know it's an embroidered pillow case, but what's on the damned thing? Is it a free-form modernistic flower? A half-remembered carnival ride? A protozoan???

Whatever the hell it is it makes me happy to the point of delirium for no real reason except that I amuse easily.

I like it so much that when I create my coat of arms it will be encorporated into the design with the shamrocks and harps and other Irish crap.

Better yet, it will be my battle standard! When you see the bombers in the sky and tanks rolling over the hill and that's painted on the sides you'll know who you're dealing with.

Bow to your queen.

13 comments:

Stephieface said...

I love you chicky.... I really do.

You make me laugh so much.

Kate, the Odd Ball Knitter said...

I think I saw that last one growing in the back of the fridge just last week.

Scott said...

Why did you buy those bald clown woman pillowcases? Why? And you should totally get a tattoo of that amoeboid thing.

Severina said...

I didn't buy any of them. They were Christmas "gifts".

But I would have bought them anyway.

Scott said...

Yeah, you would have.

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