Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Turkey of A Year

It appears that I have been wasting vast amounts of bandwidth here at the Vintage Stitch-O-Rama for a whole damn year. Wow. I've spent nearly that much time wishing I'd thought of a snappier name than "Vintage Stitch-O-Rama," but it keeps me off the streets.

It's also been a complete surprise that people actually want to come here and read this stuff, especially since there's no porn. Or not much porn anyhow. These are real, live people. Really! At least I think they are. I've spoken to a few on a real, live telephone, and every so often I receive mysterious packages in the mail that strangely enough don't explode.

So in celebration of this anniversary and because it's also Thanksgiving I've roasted you guys a Virtual Turkey. I've even polished the Virtual Silver and brushed the Real Cat Hair off the Virtual Sweet Potatoes. I'm sorry, I don't have a big enough Virtual Table for everyone to sit at so some of you will wind up on the Virtual Futon with a plate in your lap and the others will have to make do with sitting on the rug with the Really Crappy Cat. Don't take your eyes off him because he'll totally try to steal Virtual Stuff off your fork. You're allowed to Really Smack him when I'm not looking.

Oh, and leave the Virtual Kids with Grandma because I haven't got a Virtual Kiddie Table.

Yeah, I know I should've used a fancy-ass turkey platter and some cool antique table linens instead of unceremoniously dumping it on the counter but I'm special like that. I guess I should've also brushed the Virtual Dirt off.

Mmmmmmm, Virtual Dirt Turkey.

13 comments:

Ginny said...

I do prefer this to lots of the 'ain't life wonderful' posts elsewhere - feels so sentimental. though I don't necessarily disagree, think I'll come round your place for some Virtual Dirt Turkey!

Mouse said...

Mmm.. Virtual Dirt Turkey.. Somehow that sounds better than what I'm about to go eat at the in-laws.. probably because I'd actually enjoy eating turkey off the floor with you!

Severina said...

Me going into an "ain't life wonderful" rant would be yet another sign of the coming apocalypse.

So everybody have seconds, there's tons of Virtual Dirt Turkey to go around (there was a sale) and never fear, no in-laws!

Inky said...

Virtual burps back at ya!

msfortuknit said...

Like I said, baths...

BlackCrow said...

It's mighty tastey! Sev did you shoot him yourself? ......
where's the cranberry sauce?
yum the beers are going down fast best get some more.
It's nice being here with virtual company..thanx for the invite!



oh I'm not sure if I'm sober enough to type in the word verification...

BlackCrow said...

BURP!

Sherri said...

I suppose if you had live, NUDE people, you could up your porn content.

And you were gonna get a non exploding package from me but I am a lazy ass individual and the whole process of getting the stuff together, IN a box, WITH protective stuffing, finding TAPE to close it up, finding your ADDRESS where ever i hid it to keep it safe from gnomes, hauling my lazy ass to the POST OFFICE, and MAILING it, is just too much. So I'll just haul it up with me in April. Start clearing a space now.

Severina said...

You know it'll take at least 'til April to clear any sort of space. My brother will be sleeping out in the hall this time I expect.

Jane said...

Honey, your beautiful knitted objects and sick sense of humor are one of the high points of one of the worst years I've ever had (not whiney 'broke up with the bf' bad, but disease and death bad). Cheerful people give me a stomach ache.

Keep serving up the dirt turkey - and hey, what's for dust dessert?

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