A Turkey of A Year

It appears that I have been wasting vast amounts of bandwidth here at the Vintage Stitch-O-Rama for a whole damn year. Wow. I've spent nearly that much time wishing I'd thought of a snappier name than "Vintage Stitch-O-Rama," but it keeps me off the streets.

It's also been a complete surprise that people actually want to come here and read this stuff, especially since there's no porn. Or not much porn anyhow. These are real, live people. Really! At least I think they are. I've spoken to a few on a real, live telephone, and every so often I receive mysterious packages in the mail that strangely enough don't explode.

So in celebration of this anniversary and because it's also Thanksgiving I've roasted you guys a Virtual Turkey. I've even polished the Virtual Silver and brushed the Real Cat Hair off the Virtual Sweet Potatoes. I'm sorry, I don't have a big enough Virtual Table for everyone to sit at so some of you will wind up on the Virtual Futon with a plate in your lap and the others will have to make do with sitting on the rug with the Really Crappy Cat. Don't take your eyes off him because he'll totally try to steal Virtual Stuff off your fork. You're allowed to Really Smack him when I'm not looking.

Oh, and leave the Virtual Kids with Grandma because I haven't got a Virtual Kiddie Table.

Yeah, I know I should've used a fancy-ass turkey platter and some cool antique table linens instead of unceremoniously dumping it on the counter but I'm special like that. I guess I should've also brushed the Virtual Dirt off.

Mmmmmmm, Virtual Dirt Turkey.