It's Wintertime Somewhere

Now's the time to start sewing your winter fashions. You don't want to wait until it actually gets cold and then you'll be stuck with a crapload of shorts and tube tops while everyone else is all wrapped up and warm. You know how easy it is to sew summer stuff but it takes forever to make coats & wooly undies.

Say you've got a spare king-sized comforter. Say it! Thank you.

You've got a spare king-sized comforter and you remember how great it looked last winter when you had to wrap it around yourself for warmth because you took too damn long to sew a real coat. Remember how warm it was. Remember the admiring looks you got on the bus & subway. Remember your friends and family asking if you needed some extra money.

But think of the coat you could make with that comforter. The coat to beat all coats. Your coat could beat the living crap out of all their coats with its arms tied behind its back!

Don't look at me like that. Get sewing.

If you're not into sewing you could crochet a coat. Hopefully it won't be the coat pictured at the left. Hopefully it will be a nice, normal, warm, respectible coat.

Hopefully you will stop crocheting at say, the hip. We will assume that you won't be on crack and on a mad crocheting binge, crocheting as though your life depended on it. Crocheting like the wind until you finally have used up all the yarn in the house and your neighbors have stopped answering the door for your repeated requests for more yarn.

We will also hope you will crochet a real hat and won't leave the house with a skein of yarn on your head.

Ladies' Home Journal Needlecraft, Fall/Winter 1979.