Spring Cleaning

I know it's still January and nowhere near Spring. I meant Spring 2004. Pay attention this time. There will be a quiz later.

It's after the holidays and you think you can breathe a sigh of relief when whaddayaknow some inconsiderate pant-load has a birthday or a bridal shower or some such nonsense where you're obligated to present them with gifts as though they were the Gods on Mount Olympus.

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit.

If you're anything like me (and I should hope to holy Hell you're not) then you won't want to be wasting your whole ass for anything unless it involves a sofa, a six-pack of Guinness, and/or a guy in leather pants. So here's a smart little idea from McCall's Needlework & Crap that will combine Spring Cleaning and Half-Assed Giftmaking, since you could substitute the neckbones from that Thanksgiving turkey I know you've got lurking in the very depths of your fridge. I won't be asking what year that turkey hails from.

If you're lucky you'll make the gift's recipient look like Screamin' Jay Hawkins for the rest of the evening. If you're really really lucky you'll make them cry for the rest of the week.

McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring-Summer 1961.



Oddly enough this is labelled "Just for fun." I really don't think I can handle that much fun.