Friday, February 03, 2006

Shoe Shopping is For Losers

onlyAfter I just spent my hard-earned bucks at zappos.com on shoes I realised much too late that I'm just not using my creative energies properly.

I should have dived deep down into my yarn stash and knitted me some shoes. You heard me. Knitted shoes. Would I lie to you? Well duh! Of course I would, but just not this time. I'm in my lazy place right at the moment and lying to random people would involve using too much of my stored energy. I might just need that for when I make my escape.

The less said about this first pair of "shoes" the better. They seemed better suited for an especially bad episode of Dr. Who than for a normal person's feet. Perhaps they weren't meant for normal people. Perhaps they were meant just for you.

Random Person, don't bother trying to guess if I've insulted you or not. I have and I'll probably do it again. I'll type it real slow so you'll understand. See, I did it again.

Cyberman's Boots, Vogue Knitting Book Fall & Winter 1949

Suppose you got a ride on a rocket ship to the moon. Don't ask me how, just play along. Maybe you stowed away like some psychotic hobo on a freight train to L.A. There's no really good reason for you to be there, yet you are. Much like this blog has no good reason for its existance, yet it exists. Or does it? If I post stuff on a blog and nobody reads it, does it make a sound, even if it doesn't fall in the forest?

Whatever.

When you get to the moon you know you'll need some spiffy boots to jump around in slow motion in while golfing or picking up rocks or whatever it is that people seem to do every time they go to the moon.

Remember you have to jump around in slow motion or nobody back home will be at all impressed. Go out in the yard and practice.

Moon Shoes, Vogue Knitting Book Fall & Winter 1949